It's 12:48 am

And I'm broken out in hives. Again. With no reason. I did go to sleep for a little while. I can almost take the itching at the hairline of my neck, but the hives below the waist are unbearable. This time my chest is broken out as well. I've already taken medicine and a shower. 

The lack of shower tells me that it's not my body wash or shampoo. I'm back to thinking stress and anxiety related. 

It has been a stressful week. The heatwave, losing Rosco (he died last week. The vet appointment today was originally for him.) Zero. Money is always a worry. And these freaking hives are stressful. How can I stop having anxiety induced hives when the hives themselves are anxiety inducing? 

The mother of all questions. How do I stop my body from behaving so dramatically to stressors that are no where near the issues we had 7-9 months ago?  A year ago? Or is my body reacting so violently because of the stress from then? Last year was horrible, but we survived. We're moving forward. There is light at the end of this tunnel and it's bright. And I am so very thankful for where we are now. 

So why is my body behaving like a doofus? Why am I once again waiting for allergy meds to kick in so that I can sleep (I'm not going to complain about the shower. I should have gotten that when we first got home.) And, yes, I was anxious about today. I adore my niece and nephews, I love my greats, my nephews girl friend (or is she a friend who is a girl? It doesn't matter, she's absolutely lovely. Her kids are great. As long as Kenny is happy, I'm happy for them, and Kenny is so good with those kids.) 

I guess this is what shadow work is about. I'm healing.