2/4/15

Yes, I'm at it again.

But this time it's for the right reasons. terrormom.com is officially mine. I'll still host at blogger, but if things take off and I actually keep at it, who knows? (shhh don't tell my husband, I kinda haven't told him yet.)

So, without further adu. Let me introduce myself. My name is Missy and I am a medical mom. I didn't coin the phrase, I just found it. Medical Mom's come in all shapes, sizes and backgrounds. Our common denominator are children with various chronic or critical conditions. Some of us get the title at birth or even before, some of us earn it later in life. I used to be a football mom, and I guess I still am as long as the Not so Mini Mister is still playing.

Medical Mom's don't get the title from appendicitis or broken limbs. (although they do happen at times in our kids.) Some (A LOT) of medical moms have equipment to learn that would turn a normal moms stomach, or frazzle a medical student mom. Colds don't make a medical mom (although in some a cold will make a medical mom go into panic mode) We're the ones that hospital workers know by name, we're the ones who know where there are decent places to eat near hospitals (although most of us, don't have the money to actually go there.) We're the ones who can tell you where and when to get a decent cup of coffee, yet are often willing to drink whatever we can find just to be able to get through another day/night of waiting or the exasperating hurry up and wait that is typical of hospital habitats.

Our kids are of all kinds of different ranges from self sufficient to needing complete and total care. They also have one thing in common, they need us. Some are the tiniest of infants, some like mine, are hulking giants of new adults (or older.) They have gotten their injuries from birth, or accident. From surgery, from whatever. Sometimes a kid actually does wake up one day in massive pain that lasts for years upon years.

No matter how we got here, we're here and nothing is going to change it until the time comes, either through medical miracle or death, that our child no longer needs us. We are not stronger than some, we take it as it comes because there is no other choice. Pure animal instinct causes us to hide what makes us different than most. It's the same with all humans. It's the survival instinct. So unless you're really listening, you won't see or hear our weaknesses. You will hear our grievances, our complaints. We'll bitch about our kids conditions, hospital staff, testing, Bad Doctors, other medical parents, insurance issues. You'll also hear our praises. Some of those praises are things your normal child of the same age takes for granted, do yourself  favor, don't even look like you're judging because we will then judge you. Mama Bear has nothing on the mother who spends countless hours waiting for her child for procedures and surgery. the one who knows what to pack for a day of stacked doctor appointments with too many specialists to count, hell the one who knows what a stacked doctors appointment is without looking confused.

Medical Mom's don't have to be Mom's. They can be Dad's in the same situation, foster moms who stepped up to the plate, grandparents... There can be one child who holds all of our focus, or the very real struggle of more children at home trying to have normal lives. Making it Medical Families. I guess thats a nice way to put it. Some of us are all alone, some of us are married or have partners. Sometimes the whole extended family jumps in to help out.

A lot of medical parents spend a lot of time on Google searching medications, procedures, conditions, genes, any little keyword our doctors have dropped. We're told to stay off of it, sometimes we know better, but still, at times when there are no answers, we search. We rate hospitals where our children might get better care, we research doctors.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Medical Mom's are just like you. We don't need to be told how strong we are, or how you couldn't do it. Because in the long run, if situations were reversed, you would have no choice either and would do exactly what you had to do. Sometimes, we just need someone willing to listen. Someone who is willing to show up in between hospitalizations and appointments for a cup of coffee or a bit of normalcy. To just understand.

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@TerrorMom

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I guess I'm actually supposed to fill this out. I'm a passionate medical mom of a 19 year old liver/CRPS patient. My goal with my blog is to raise awareness for his conditions. And to hash out my feelings about it. There are a lot of raw emotions when your life is suddenly stalled by any illness, let alone your child's illness. 

I'm also attempting to either "find myself" or "remake myself". So much of my time and energy goes into caring for both my mother (end stage COPD) and son, along with trying to be Mom to my younger son and a wife, that most of the time I feel lost. I tend to put myself on a back burner and right now I'm burning out. 
 

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